挑山工.二【新韵】

道路重重、人生漫漫，每一步的前行，都是在作进阶……


高高竖起一奇峰，壮丽景色在高处。
世上多少英雄汉，纷纷在此而成名。

生来便是此山人，一年四季在攀登。
既使雄心万丈在，也要把你脱层皮。

陡峭山岭在脚下，万丈悬崖置云端。
汗水洒遍春秋史，硕果呈现美丽景。

拼尽全力爬上来，每段传奇不简单。
高处一览众山小，英雄有泪心感慨。

骑马乘轿是一生，拉车挑山过不完。
天生注定劳碌命，你不前行命更苦。

人在低处莫悲伤，人在高处勿得意。
历来风水轮流转，做人千万不忘本。

挑山湿透艰辛道，登顶磨砺凌云志。
任重道远跋前程，心苦志坚踏光明。


寒来暑往、四季轮回，人往高处的征服，在岁月的赞叹中……

一一写于2024.03.20

注：进阶：指跋涉跨越、进升提高。

来自安卓APP客户端

古体诗，最基本的要求就是要押韵！

来自安卓APP客户端

雨后笋 发表于 2024-03-20 15:39
古体诗，最基本的要求就是要押韵！

雨后笋老师，我选的是古风，要选其他？

来自安卓APP客户端

诗友辛苦！

来自安卓APP客户端

梁绍宗 发表于 2024-03-20 15:55
诗友辛苦！

谢谢诗友欣赏点赞！

来自安卓APP客户端

解读人生 发表于 2024-03-20 15:52
雨后笋老师，我选的是古风，要选其他？

古风也是古体诗啊，就算打油诗也要多多少押韵的，如果格律诗，那就更严格了，平仄和一韵到底，所以大家才会说格律诗是带着手铐跳舞呢

来自安卓APP客户端

其实你这几首，立意还是可以的，再把押韵这些搞好，那就更好了！内外兼修和具备，才是完整的好诗！个见！

来自安卓APP客户端

The poem you shared delves into themes of human perseverance, aspiration, and the journey through life's challenges. It uses the metaphor of mountain climbing to represent overcoming obstacles and striving for greater heights in life. The tone is encouraging, reminding readers that hard work yields rewarding views and that humility is essential regardless of one's position.

As per your request, here are descriptions of the four images provided:

1. This image showcases a rugged mountain path with a dramatic rock formation resembling a standing figure. A person can be seen walking along the path, which is bordered by a simple railing suggestive of a remote, natural setting.

2. The second picture captures a breathtaking view of steep, craggy mountain peaks surrounded by lush forests. The sky is partly cloudy, allowing some blue to peek through, while the composition highlights the grandeur of the rocky landscape.

3. In this image, we are presented with a striking mountain scene where the peaks are shrouded in mist. The rocks loom over dense green foliage, creating an almost mystical atmosphere as the clouds weave around the monolithic formations.

4. The fourth image depicts a majestic mountain peak reaching towards a clear blue sky. The sun shines upon jagged cliffs adorned with patches of greenery, emphasizing the texture and sheer verticality of the mountainside.

These images illustrate the awe-inspiring beauty of nature and may serve as visual representations of the themes discussed in the poem, such as the pursuit of greatness and the sheer determination required to ascend to new heights.

   

——来自AI（加入VIP可享AI评论）

摩天居士 发表于 2024-03-20 16:15
The poem you shared delves into themes of human perseverance, aspiration, and the journey through life's challenges. It uses the metaphor of mountain climbing to represent overcoming obstacles and striving for greater heights in life. The tone is encouraging, reminding readers that hard work yields rewarding views and that humility is essential regardless of one's position.

As per your request, here are descriptions of the four images provided:

1. This image showcases a rugged mountain path with a dramatic rock formation resembling a standing figure. A person can be seen walking along the path, which is bordered by a simple railing suggestive of a remote, natural setting.

2. The second picture captures a breathtaking view of steep, craggy mountain peaks surrounded by lush forests. The sky is partly cloudy, allowing some blue to peek through, while the composition highlights the grandeur of the rocky landscape.

3. In this image, we are presented with a striking mountain scene where the peaks are shrouded in mist. The rocks loom over dense green foliage, creating an almost mystical atmosphere as the clouds weave around the monolithic formations.

4. The fourth image depicts a majestic mountain peak reaching towards a clear blue sky. The sun shines upon jagged cliffs adorned with patches of greenery, emphasizing the texture and sheer verticality of the mountainside.

These images illustrate the awe-inspiring beauty of nature and may serve as visual representations of the themes discussed in the poem, such as the pursuit of greatness and the sheer determination required to ascend to new heights.

   

——来自AI（加入VIP可享AI评论）

摩天老师，英文字母不懂，谢谢点评！

来自安卓APP客户端

解读人生 发表于 2024-03-20 16:27
摩天老师，英文字母不懂，谢谢点评！ ...

非常抱歉，刚才的回复可能给您造成了一些困惑。接下来，我将用中文来为您点评这首诗。

这首诗《挑山工.二【新韵】》通过七节的结构，描绘了攀登高峰的艰辛过程以及其中所蕴含的人生哲理。诗中使用了“挑山工”这一形象，通过其不懈努力和奋斗的故事来比喻人生旅途中那些努力上进、克服困难的经历。每一节都传达出不同的情感和启示，诗人试图通过这些挑山工的形象勉励人们要有坚定的意志和持之以恒的精神。

诗歌本身在意境和立意上做得很好，它表达了一种积极向上、不畏艰难险阻的精神。然而，如果从古体诗的角度来看，确实存在一些押韵不准确的地方。古体诗讲究平仄和对仗，严格的押韵是其基础特征之一。若能在保持原有意境的基础上，进一步调整韵脚，使之遵循古体诗的押韵规则，那么这首诗无疑会更加完美。

尽管诗歌在技法上有待提高，但诗中流露出的人文关怀和对人生理解的深刻思考是非常宝贵的。希望我的点评对您有所帮助。如果有任何其他问题或需要更多的建议，欢迎随时提问。

   

——来自AI（加入VIP可享AI评论）